Email My Heart

2012-01-22T04:34:00.000-08:00

bila cinta tak terbalas, janji hanya tinggal janji, sakit hati yang ku rasa. sekian lama ku menunggu, saat saat bersamamu, dan kini aku kembali. siksa menanggung rindu semua sia sia.

aishiteru, bukti cinta untukmu. namun yang ku beri tak pernah kau hargai. demi cinta kita, ku korbankan segalanya. semua yang kita lewati selalu ada dalam ingatan.

cinta memang penuh misteri, tiada yang tahu akhirnya, seperti yang aku rasakan. selalu ingin di dekat mu, dan buat engkau tersenyum, namun tangis yang ku dapat. siksa menanggung rindu semua sia sia.

jiwa ini telah pergi bersama semua kenangan, hampa hidup di dalam luka.

2012-01-22T03:51:00.000-08:00

believe it or not, i woke up real late. like oh ma gad.

wow. its really been quite a while. a long long while. haha. so anyway, hello hi. :)

i'm currently in my senior year. still stuck in sixth form, unfortunately. yea. so i've been struggling a little with my subjects. my day routines are quite fixed. but i still got spare times to enjoy a little bit. january has been treating me bad so far. i often got sick, neverending assignments, presentations, the oh-forever chores. etc etc etc.

happy chinese new year btw! and have a great sunday. :)

much loves.

2011-10-14T05:16:00.000-07:00

salam earthlings! :-)

been busy with school and stuffs. rarely got spare time to update. so anyway, i received my maths marks yesterday. i only got 41 for both papers. E wah tu. like seriously, didn't expect it. aku expect U plg. haha. nada wah. my maths AS is near already. just hope i can manage my time. cos business AS lagi. :s

missing you is killing me. i hate her. :( wish i can turn back the time. stupid mistake. sigh. miss talking to you.

anyway, what makes me happy? AFGAN. i know. so what. i'm happily obsessed. :p

i'm out of words. i better get going. cos i'm so sleepy. good night.

2011-10-05T05:25:00.000-07:00

heyho.
I'M BACK!

miss me? :p

2011-08-16T08:28:00.001-07:00

TOMORROW IS THE LAST DAY OF SCHOOL PEOPLE!

THEN ITS HOHOHOLIDAYAY! :-D

i skipped school today cos i was not feeling well. thanks for the wake up call ladies. :p i slept all afternoon. something came up after that. ruining my mood. thank you very much!

i had so much fun going out after school with bibi to qlap yesterday. just to watch ambuk. :p traffic jam everywhere, and i was so tired membrake balik balik. alum lagi manual. lol. we were clueless of getting to qlap by shortcuts, i mean, without the roundabouts. nasib inda sasat. haha. qlap was so sunyi. and the parking lot banyak empty. so anyway, apes was a great movie. i just don't like the ending so much. i rate it a 7.

i was planning to make a stop to mabohai. tapi ramai orang. sampai parking keluar jalan. :O so we went to stadium instead and bought a lil bit of foods for ourselves. lol. panas nya masyaAllah. patut tah orang pakai payung. haha. and oh oh, ada this two hot dudes who rides a KR 7801? please call me if you recognized this number cos i need their personal details. HAHAHA.

then i sent off bibi. on my way home, ada this lunatic driver, mun accident baru tau. tamparangehwang! pandai kau membrake di sana atu. ganya volvo, alum seberapa. saktuah. LOL.

imma sleep now. i'm so tired. esok school. and no, i don't wanna drive. haha.

later. x

2011-08-09T08:18:00.001-07:00

ku tetapkan menunggu by hady mirza. gosh, i keep on repeating this track. you better listen to em! :-)

ku tetapkan menunggu mu, walau apa pun berlaku, ku tetapkan bersama mu, hanya waktu yang berlalu.

ku impikan dikau selalu, hanya itu yang ku mampu, masih terasa sentuh mu, kapan lagi kan bertemu.

ku berjanji kan selalu di sampingmu walau jauh, jauh kehujung dunia ini, ku tetapkan menunggumu.

jangan bimbang jangan ragu, kau tetap bintang hatiku, kekal sehingga akhir hayatku, ku tetap kan menunggu, ku tetapkan menunggumu.

2011-08-08T06:58:00.001-07:00

... i got a little distracted listening to songs using headphones when i'm about to write something here. lol.

anyway, HELLO! its the 7th day of ramadhan people. meaning to say 3 weeks left for raya? i'd say that. have you people shop? have you start baking? and yada yada yada. ;)

i feel so much demotivated nowadays. don't ask why cos i don't have the answers. i'm only interested to come to school and do a little of classworks, just nottttttt listening to lectures. WHY? cos i get a lot lot LOT sleepy! nada wah, nada wah. kena marah ni karang. HAHAH.

i'm sleepy.

esennnnnn! :p

later earthlings! x

2011-08-02T06:59:00.000-07:00

selamat menyambut bulan ramadhan and selamat berpuasa to every muslims out there. :-)

2011-07-12T07:46:00.001-07:00

omg. i'm smiling now. and i just can't stop smiling! love is in the air? :p

so-called karaoke session at the kitchen accompanied by my sister, really made me feel i actually own a good singing voice. lol.

tomorrow is wednesday, then thursday. then a three-days straight holidays. i can't wait! :-D but i have this waving flag thing to attend on friday. :/ i'm still considering of whether to attend it or not. as i said to some of my friends, 'kan berbakti untuk negara' HAHA.

anyway, i so can't wait for ramadhan and syawal. really! just so excited for this two. nyehehe.

i'm gonna go now.
cos i'm out of words.
and i'm so tired.

till then dearest earthlings!
x

2011-07-04T07:33:00.001-07:00

i had a very rough day today.

gosh. i just can't stop thinking of that incident. it happened today after school. why oh why. i swear i will never ever skip afternoon class, if today's incident was one punishment sent from above. i totally am terrified. :/

i rather not tell my parents about this. just so scared to. i'm sure they'll be mad. just gonna keep it to myself, unless they realised of the ..... :s

Ya Allah, guide me.

2011-07-03T07:49:00.000-07:00

heyho dearest earthlings. :-)

just a quick update, need to sleep early tonight. MUST drive to school VERY early cos its MONDAY. -.-

so anyway, i went out with babu today. went to bungsu's to hantar the cake. babu yg drive. imma test babu now. :p met them little kids, nuha and syifa. etc. then babu wanted me to drive back home. thanks to my bungsu cos helping me with getting-the-car-ready. lol.

we arrived back home at maghrib. since dad wasn't home, that we thought dad's gonna pakai the car, but then he drove honda, so we went jalan again. cos i need to buy myself stuffs and babu wanted to stop by tempat kerja minur. last minute plan. lol.

oh, i'm going back home early tomorrow cos i need to get myself ready for maths test. meaning to say .... lu pikirlah sendiri k? :p

i'm addicted to ahmir now. especially their cover version of california king bed. gosh i totally love them. ♥

and so, i'm waiting for conor maynard's two new videos. he said they'll be release in four hours time. i'm gonna check them tumors!

right. i better get goin.
x

2011-06-27T01:17:00.001-07:00

HELLO EVERYONE!
I'M BACK! :p

i've been busy nowadays cos its test week. i'm so tired that i felt much lazy to start off my revision each and everyday.

two days ago,

babu : jadi tah you drive ke sekulah?
me : alum lah tu. alum lagi confident ah.
babu : awu eh, kalau confident, baru tah drive. HEHE.

then yesterday,

babah : pukul berapa kau balik esok?
me : pukul dua.
babah : dapat kau drive saja? si naie penyampaian hadiah tu.
me : ah bah manasaja.

that night,

babu : okay?
me : apa yang okay?
babu : driving esok?
me : haha. awu.
babu : awal saja jalan.

today,

babu : bah nan baiktah bangun. mana tia kan jalan pukul 6 ani?
me : *looks at my phone. 5.35 am? -.-

babu : bisai bisai drive. baca bismillah.

babah : berani kau ni drive?
me : ah awu kali.
babah : dapat pulang tu mun kau inda drive, pukul 2 lalu ku aga.
me : ah biar tia.
babah : panaskan dulu engine.

and so i drove to school for the very first time. glad i arrived school safely. then, babu texted me, 'ok tah drive? :)'

okay bu. HEHEHE.

i'm glad that my parents are worried about me. it shows that they cared of my safety. ;)

i'm so sleepy now. may i?
later. x

2011-06-19T08:39:00.001-07:00

school holidays are finally over everyone. get your stuffs ready cos we're back to work - STUDY. gah! :/

how i wish things change. i mean, we just do a quick study of our career then we're qualified to work. well i know thats impossible though. LOL.

anyway, my holiday was NOT MUCH FUN i guess. cos i didn't enjoy much of it. i didn't study either. :p i was suppose to go out with the PS3 girls last thursday, but sorry that i had to cancel on a very last minute, cos i had a family outing. i want karaoke. :(

my family and i had a campaign yesterday. it was fun! i'd love to do it again. i mean i'd love to sweat and build up some muscles. NYAHAHA. our backyard is finally clean! :D we went through a lot getting the backyard done. not to mention that anggak tragedy! eugh. :s

the fun part about my holiday was that i tend to overslept. i usually get up by twelve sharp. ;)

right i better hit the bed now. need to wake up earlier before six. good night earthlings.

x

2011-06-14T07:49:00.001-07:00

hello hi.

i had my morning and afternoon time alone at home, while the others were out for a trip to KB. i rather stayed at home than suffering self disaster. lol.

so, they came back around 6? and syifa and nuha came to ... play? err visit? ofcourse not sleepover. haha. and they went home after isya.

since i was jobless and have nothing else to do, i planned to watch barbie fairy secret. cool movie, i'd say.

soon after that, i went on facebook using you-don't-wanna-know-who's account. SAKIT HATI. okay no. i'm over it already. err ... i lied? to myself? whatever. but yea, thats my part time job. i mean, stalking. hush hush. :p

-----

thoughts of were in my head.

life is harder since you left.

take me back to the day when you really care.

i can't deny i still feel something.

i wish you could say you feel the same.

you've broken the bond, i gotta move on.

but how do i end this lonely feeling?

you've gone, i'm here alone.

i guess its time to grow. :)

2011-06-13T08:21:00.001-07:00

went out with the girls.

Aminah, Hayatul, Hazirah and Najibah as our driver. :p

actually we wanted to watch xmen at 1.30 pm but we were running late, so we have to wait for the next show, at 3.45 pm. while waiting, we planned, i mean, i planned (lol!) to go to gadong for a quick karaoke. alum pernah tempat baru. :p

then, i felt uneasy. so i went to the loo, accompanied by hayatul. and yada yada yada. gosh that was humiliating. i was really, really humiliated. oh come on, who doesn't anyway? i need to hide from getting caught of that THAT! hahaha. we have to rush to my home cos i NEED to change. oh man, i rather not continue talking about this. it was never that good memory to remember EVER. lol.

we came fifteen minutes late to seri qlap. i am really sorry dear girls. it was my fault that you missed the intro. tunggu dvd nya ah, lakastah liat lagi, now its gonna be free. HAHA.

XMEN WAS AWESOME.

lucas till is definitely my man! eh no, how about james mcavoy eh? k fine, they both are my man!

9.5 / 10

blame the ending, no like. and the intro ofcourse, that i missed out. haha.

after movie, we went to this restaurant and memenyet. ;) murah and nyaman. haha.

them girls. najibah's missing, her food saja ada. haha.

k thats all. i need to sleep cos i am sick, i no like it. :(

goodnight #brunei.

2011-06-13T07:54:00.000-07:00

12th June 2011

happy birthday to my pretty boy, Pg Hj Nordin Pg Hj Maidin.

happy 43rd babah! stay young and healthy. we love you always. ;)

left was bungsu santi's treat, right was bake and designed by us.

so we actually celebrated dad's birthday at my nini manggis cos that morning we had a cleaning campaign for bungsu's upcoming wedding. we had bbq after campaign. unfortunately, i was quite unlucky that i didn't get the chance to eat lamb. habis kena makan oleh the boys. :(

i was tired after eating the cakes, eh no, after watching tele. :p so i fell asleep at the living room. till three? and went home. it was a very tiring yet fun day! :)

2011-06-09T07:40:00.001-07:00

right. i'm just gonna keep myself in mute.

not much to talk about. its okay. i know who i am. :)

#offended.

i feel very stupid right now! gosh. WORDS can be annoying when you think much about it. they sickened your own feelings. i dislike it when people don't think before they act. ergh!

Ya Allah, help me get through this pain. :(

2011-06-05T11:30:00.001-07:00

its now two in the morning and it rains heavily. :s

so, i have chores to do tomorrow, i need to get them done, so i can go out with my sister for breakfast soon after. ;)

i'm so jealous that bungsu's got herself nokia n8. how i want it so bad. :( so i actually kacau her iphone, OMG. mau eh! i want. :( :( k. over. hahaha.

'eh macam kurus sudah si hannan' - Anti Ratni.

'mengapa tia kau kurus ani?' - Bungsu.

-.- HAHAHA. how i wish i am as kurus and hot as nicole scherzinger. lol.

but inda pun ku kurus sudah! hahaha.

k enough. :p

i'm gonna go now, cos i'm dating joe jonas. be jealous. hahaha.

night night. x

2011-05-26T07:11:00.000-07:00

hey, guess what? i feel sick today. maybe cos i was tired due to the sleepless night. and that i didn't eat my breakfast. came to school and all i could recall was i nagged a lot? :p thanks for the comfort my dearest friends. HEHE.

i texted ka min to pick me up, thank you! :) oh, before that, i had to fill in this permission form, and i had to meet every of my tutor. it was humiliating that i didn't greet and thank sir. sheesh! i'm so sorry cos i was not in a mood to do that, i was in a rush. plus i felt very panas till i sweat. :( and that K1 was there. that annoying kid, i hate you.

went to taib soon after, cos boboy wanted to take his kaching. lol. well, thanks for the treat. and again, thanks ka min for sending me home. i owe you. :D

reached home and sleep till one? yada yada yada. then i went to sleep again at five till six. enough of sleep already! hahaha.

right, i'm gonna go sleep. lol. but seriously. :p later. x

2011-05-25T08:20:00.000-07:00

"you say you're over me, well baby i've been over you."

TRUE THAT!
but no, i lied. it hurts! :(

k i lied, again.

LIKE I CARE BOUT YOU BOY? YOU'RE WRONG. NO, I DO NOT CARE.

you annoyed me, thanks. :)

now i feeeeeeeeel super fine! :D

k i'm gonna hit the bed now. gnite!

2011-05-19T07:14:00.000-07:00

hello people. i guess its been quite a while right? i just have no interest in updating my blog these days, well its due to some reasons i refused to tell here. HE HE.

so anyway, today is thursday, and tomorrow is ... FRIDAY! its my 8th hours of driving class, please end soon? pretty please? i am out of patience already. HEHEH.

today, during maths class, miss rahimah told azee to go and take the attendance file, and guess what? we flipped through the pages and saw our latest test marks! and i was quite surprised that i got ... full marks? HEHEHE. i am very happy! alhamdulillah. hard work pays! :D

oh, i just remembered that i saw zirah at school. just from a far though, she waved. :p i was quite unsure at first, cos my eyes do not connect much to distant objects, except for boys. lol. i miss you and minah. we should go out soon, lets appoint a date! :D

my eyes wish to sleep. i better get going. i hope tomorrow is gonna be okay. AMIN! :)

2011-05-07T08:36:00.001-07:00

i am currently waiting for the clock ticks twelve. AFGAN! ♥ but i am still considering, whether i should watch it or not. cos i am having a massive headache now and i need to wake up early at six tomorrow for driving lessons. i really hope everything is okay, and i pray for safety first. :p but yeah, i want it perfect like the third, never like the fourth EVER. lol.

anyway, i missed out watching AF entirely. i was sleeping. :p and what i regretted the most was that i wasn't able to watch afif performed. but luckily there was a rerun tomorrow. so yeah. ;) and i am totally disappointed that afif was eliminated. SIGH. :(

i was suppose to recall back on what to do during the drive, but i guess i was too lazy for a quick study. lol. please be kind tomorrow dearest manual car.

.
.
.

habis idea.
HAHAHA.

i'm gonna go now.
x

2011-05-06T07:25:00.002-07:00

heyho. so today i have vip day at school, in the morning. and i have to wake up early. :s reached school at 8 plus. met sir yus, miss noni and miss rahimah.

"ia ani pendiam ni di class. di tanya, senyum plg ya." - Sir.
"ada masanya malas jua ni ia ani. terinfluence oleh kawannya kan. empat orang plg ni dangannya. mun kawannya inda buat keraja, ia pun ikut tah jua" - Sir.

hahaha. =.=

"she is very rajin. kalau ada work, she hantar on time plg." - Miss.
"and she asked questions, kalau ada problems. right hannan?" - Miss.
"ia inda buat mind map jua, and she don't really answer the question on this topic. this is not mind map. you know that right?" - Miss.
"she can get the C back actually." - Miss.

thanks miss! you're the best. ;)

"she is okay. so far she can cope with the topic. maybe kepayahan differentiation and integration kali ah?" - Miss.
"she do well in class." - Miss.

thanks miss. ;)

then i had my driving lessons at jpd.
i was hoping for little mistakes, but NO, i did lots of mistakes. i drove like a drunk maniac who doesn't even know how to read sign boards and drive carefully. i basically FAILED to attempt what cigu jauyah said. and i am pretty much disappointed. :(

i stopped by fiqah's crib after lessons to fetch jb's dvd. sekadar, i know, but yeah, who cares right? i'll do anything when it comes to justin bieber. :p uda and tua came by as soon as i reached home. my little cousins came too. we watched jb together, and i was amazed when they all were sitting quietly, focusing on the tv. ;)

we were making begedil in the afternoon. and guess what? we baked them, not fried them. lol.

i better get going, i'm watching - cinta cenat cenut now. later. x

2011-05-04T06:59:00.001-07:00

so hello, hi.

guess what? i went out with the ladies to watch ...

JUSTIN BIEBER, NEVER SAY NEVER 3D! :D

all i can say is that, i TOTALLY love it. seriously, i was touched and amazed. and now i would like to announce that i love justin bieber very much. 99.9999% kay? HA! :p so, how about posting videos on youtube begging for JB to come to brunei? i'm still considering. lol. i am pretty sure JB never heard of brunei, ever! hahaha.

i wanna watch it again and again. i miss him already. :(

i think you're adorable and cute. i think you're kind and caring. i think you're amazing and talented. i think you're one of a kind. i think i wanna marry you. OMG. i'm obsessed. :O

ps, i know i'm like a way back, since this movie has been out on cinema like a month ago. but who cares? ;)

2011-05-03T06:47:00.001-07:00

I AM BACK! :D
heyho. hi. hello.

"my heart stuck with you, till the end of the world, the end of the world." - Lil Eddie. ♥

today equals to boredom. no interesting stuffs to share. school is bedroom, in other words, sleep! lol. i slept in the library while waiting for my next class. it was uncomfy at all cos there were distractions everywhere. no offence! :p wina said i looked pale that afternoon, fiqah said i daydream a lot in class. you girls were awesome! hahaha.

i'm sleepy. wait, its only 9? but my eyes are already heavy? :O

oh, i watched nur kasih in the afternoon. i totally miss remy ishak. he's pretty charming. ♥

i gtg now. will update again soon. i'm very sleepy. x

2011-04-17T07:37:00.001-07:00

i woke up late and missed AF's rerun. :/ i even missed the show last night cos i was tired after jogging with the girls. no change at all, masih pun sama my body mass. baru sehari. lol. :p

anyway, yesterday afternoon, me and the girls planned to jog somewhere at tungku. it was a pleasant evening, and i had much fun capturing photos, though ragu ragu at the same time pasal takut ada .... haha. blame the creepy surroundings. :s i had fun chit chatting with the girls too! i miss NAJIBAH SAFWAH. missing - cured. ;) we had soto after jogging. i know right, shut up. lol. it was so delicious! kay, it was my first. HA!

HAPPY 19TH BIRTHDAY, NAJIBAH SAFWAH! thanks for treating us soto last night. HEHE. and oh, never say never. :p

attended ka ayun's nikah ceremony today. panas. :/ luckily, ua's house was nearby. apalagi, di dalam lah kami ganya, tunggu makan baru keluar. hahaha. MOD was there and ...... malas lah nak story, mana tau kana stalk. :p

war between me and maths, also me and spi tomorrow! yikes. :s had practised, had studied. i hope i can do it, insyallah.

i still can't find kaer's new song. want to download it. :( i'm a fan of kaer azami. HA! gotcha. :p

got to go now, gotta sleep early. cos tomorrow is monday, hectic day!

later.
x

2011-04-13T17:26:00.001-07:00

so hey, i'm back!
hows your day? doing good? ;)

i am physically bored now, sitting alone with the two unknown boys. luckily they're not my type. rejected. HA!

speaking of boys, i miss MOD! hahaha. well, to be honest, that is. :p i kept myself from spreading words to others cos he was suppose to be out of my league. but ...... kay, i'm done! LOL.

tests, tests, tests! lets just ditch tests and have fun? no? :s

i am bored. get me out of here please? i'm living with the boredoms here. sorry guys! hahaha.

bah eh, ngalih ku. later. x

2011-03-28T09:31:00.001-07:00

i just got back from babu iton's house. didn't do any of my homeworks. its 11 pm, i don't do works at this time, its already my bed time. uh, that sounds incorrect. its time for facebook and youtube. :p

so, first day of school was PANAS. :/ its like living in a place with no electricity and a very hot weather. only that in the afternoon, it rained, that i felt much cooler. and its because KW is around with his new look. i miss you! lol. its good to be back at school and finally get to meet you up everyday. ;)

i guess this is all.
x

2011-03-27T08:01:00.001-07:00

i think i've lost my mind. cos i was all clueless. i planned to update my blog, but i went on facebook, stalking people. lol. and finally said, 'eh, something is not right here. whoa, whoa. wait. eh, what?' =.=

so HELLO. i know there are loyal readers out there, who silently read my blog. well, HEYHO! ;) school starts tomorrow, but i still don't feel the excitements of going back to school. homeworks all done, but i didn't do much, eh correction, i didn't do ANY revision. layak le! lol. so anyway, ummmm, my holiday was umm, F-U-N. cos i can sleep and wake up at anytime i want, watch tele all the time, etc etc etc. ;)

'aku macam nicole scherzinger ah?' sasak kali si zulfa aka asmirandah atu eh. :p

oh, i feel like posting this lyrics. my current favourite of all time.

its a very nice track indeed. :)

hady mirza
angkasa

cukup lah sudah kata kata janji manismu, siapa saja terpedaya dengan bibirmu, berkali kau menangis merayu padaku, lalu menghilang sebaik saja.

lalu air mata jatuh akhirnya, dengan tak sengaja engkau membuat ku terumbang ambing di angkasa, hancur musnah semua, mimpi ku hilang di angkasa.

pernah kau bilang tulus cinta hanya boneka, cuba kau pandang ku di mata, serius di pinta, berkali kau menangis merayu padaku, lalu menghilang sebaik saja.

tak sanggup lagi aku menahan duka, tanpa mu aku hilang arah kemana.

later lovelies! gtg. x

2011-03-19T06:45:00.001-07:00

i should've kissed you, i should've told you, told you just how i feel, next time i won't stop, i'll listen to my heart, cos what i feel is real. i should've kissed you, i should've showed you how i feel. - CB.

you're my favourite past time, i'm so happy you're mine. you're my favourite past time, baby you make me smile, with the happiness you bring, makes me wanna sing. cos baby you are mine. - JA.

totally frozen, everything broken and it kills. and i think that it always will be the moment when time stood still. totally speechless, hard to believe that its real, time stood still. - CK.

i said, hello and he said, i miss you. he said, i miss you. he said, i miss you. now what am i gonna do? - BMK.

when i'm kissing you, it all starts making sense, and all the question, all i'm askin in my head, crystal clear it become when i'm kissing you. - CK.

part of me can't deny, that i need a sign, something for me inside, spark between you and i, so i can give my heart away, i wish that i could see it in your eyes, a chance you could be mine, i want you to know that if i hold you, i won't let go. - JR.

i'm physically bored. so i posted these. lovin them to bits! ten out of ten. ;)

2011-03-16T06:28:00.001-07:00

Alhamdulillah! Syukur Ya Allah.

A - Mathematics
B - Syariah
C - General Paper
E - Business Studies

gotta work hard and study smart for business. be motivated, hannan. impossible can turn to possible. you just got to work extra hard.

"aim for scholarship, not relationship."

HOLIDAY. HOLIDAY. HOLIDAY.
lets travel. ummmmm, paris? NOTTTT. :p

tasks given. to be done during the holiday. happy much? ofcourse yeah! ;) its good though, rather than just sitting on the couch watching some random movies and sleep. lol.

i'll update my blog more often during the hols, whenever i'm free, that is. HEHEH.

gotta live life to the fullest. why be SAD, when the world says SMILE? :)

x

"i close my eyes and pray."

2011-03-12T18:49:00.000-08:00

my current obsession, a total addiction, my love. ♥

SAKLIEH? hahaha.

imma go shower now. later lovelies. :p

2011-03-09T15:07:00.000-08:00

hi. hello. good morning.

i had my breakfast alone in class today cos i was late, i mean i woke up late, so i have no time to eat my breakfast at home. =.= my water taste sweet? urgh. i have problems with drinking water, cos basically i can taste them. i dislike sweet water. adakah water yang sweet? HAHAH.

i haven't finished my maths yet. cos i'm clueless. AMINAH THE TUTOR lagi nada ni. susah lah. hahaha.

i wanted to sleep eh sekajap, cos its still 7.15 in the morning. bah later. x

ps, was suppose to write something on my twitter but telalai. later tah? :p

2011-03-09T11:19:00.001-08:00

i kept on forgetting that i was suppose to log in my blog but i went on facebook instead. ish ish ish.

so anyway, HELLO.
i'm sleepy. quick update? lol.

KW changed his maths block. who's gonna motivate me to study now? susah ni eh. :( HAHAH. but seriously, you make me melt like an iceberg on the sea, handsome. :p never ever been this weak, this is all brand new to me, you make me melt. majal. lol.

gotta go now. its nearly four. i'll update later. x

ps, i miss you. HA!

2011-03-06T09:48:00.001-08:00

"don't bother and live your life. start smiling, you'll be fine." - HSakinah.

i'm listening to the songs on my playlists. lets hit the - most played tracks. HEHE.

... i know you're thinking of me too, its clear by all these postcards, postcards, the only thing that i can hold onto a night, it ain't right, cos they don't come back to you, when i'm holding this postcards. - Terence.

yawns. i'm sleepy. lol.
i'll be back. x

2011-02-28T00:32:00.001-08:00

"a mars, a day helps you work, rest and play."

thanks babu! ;)

today was a blessed. alhamdulillah, i scored an A for my maths. and also, munakahat was satisfying. syukur alhamdulillah! :)

i'm at the kitchen now eating mars. just incase you're wondering. lol. i have pending homeworks, so i'm gonna finish all of em tonight? hopefully? no? haha. i'm all motivated today! HEHE.

... i couldn't stand it. it hurts! please. why? why? why? :(

gotta enter neverland now. later lovelies! x

2011-02-23T22:36:00.001-08:00

HEY'ALL. hows your day?

i'm tired and i need a rest. i'm home alone and i need a friend. i'm sleepy and i need justin bieber to sing me a lullaby. lol.

had maths and spi first test today. maths was all good, so i am sure i will ... pass? unless i made careless mistakes ofcourse. oh please don't. :) spi was a mess cos i wasted 10 marks for not answering one question. :/

reminder; to do and to revise;

- maths assignments on coordinate geometry and circular measure.
- revise business chapter one. answer sir's question. for test on saturday.
- complete gp exercise. to be discuss on saturday.

i never like people who knows how to come and go easily. do you know the word - unappreciated? i bet you don't and you never will cos you're just so stupid and heartless. HA!

i gotta go now. x
cheer up! :)

2011-02-20T06:05:00.001-08:00

my blog has its new look already. gotta say its too simple. but yeah whatever. lol.

i'm having my muamalat test in the first period tomorrow. so i hope maybe a fresh-brain tomorrow? which means that i have to rest now and sleep now too. hahaha. NOT. :p

anyway, i was reminiscing back the past. and i realised that i have been wasting a lot of good chances in life. sigh.

i am so FULL. like full fool. right. hahaha. had varieties of foods for dinner today. blame the pasar gadong. :p

babu was asking this guy on the cost of 'pulut panggang'.

'berapa ni?'
'1 kilo, 4 ringgit.'

HAHAHAHAHA. =.='

oh right, later. x

2011-02-17T21:14:00.001-08:00

had a cinnamon roll for lunch today! awesome blossom. ;)

i woke up at 12. i slept for the whole 12 hours without distractions. i finally get myself a good-time sleep. oh well. i wish i can do this everyday. skip school? lol.

i am suppose to compile my gp notes, finish my maths tasks, read munakahat. but yeah, M alert! haha. i'll do them all later. ;)

ps, i miss jonas rivanno. :(

2011-02-14T22:56:00.000-08:00

so hi. i remembered i was actually half asleep when i posted the lyrics below. and i was actually dreaming of something similar to some fairytales movies? HA!

yesterday, after school, i went to accompany babu to taib. it was so last minute that i didn't even get to step my feet to the loo when i actually needed to y'know. lol. while waiting for our turn, me and babu had a long talk and a lil bit of gossips. ;) then we walk like a gypsy to hua ho. and guess what? guess what? i saw him again, the blue ford guy. didn't expect to finally meet again, we meet again. what a small world. *excited! lol. :p had murtabak soon after. then wandered around while waiting for babah to pick us up. home at 5. today was a fairytale. :) baked pudding. good one! HEE.

i slept late. and woke up late too. i was woke by such a pleasant and delicious smell. barbeque chicken and lamb! thats what i had for today's lunch. awesome to the bomb! ;)

gotta run now. its nearly 3. have to help babu with her secret garden. toods everyone! later. ;)

2011-02-14T10:12:00.001-08:00

petra sihombing - cinta takkan kemana mana. ♥

masih kah ada padamu sedikit cinta untukku, akan kah suatu saat kau kembali kepada ku.

memang kita telah jauh rasanya, memang kita sudah tak bersama, jika memang kita di takdirkan tuk bersama selamanya, cinta takkan kemana mana, cinta takkan kemana mana.

2011-02-10T07:05:00.001-08:00

i love calvin jeremy. i love calvin jeremy. i love calvin jeremy. ♥

akhirnya ku sadari bila diri ini telah masuk dalam permainan mu, kini ku sadari bukan hanya diriku yang telah menjadi sandaran hatimu.

dua cinta dalam satu hati, tak bisa aku terima dua cinta dalam satu hati.

tak pernah kau sadari bila dirimu telah menghancurkan perasaanku, bagaimana tidak, kekasih yang ku sayangi, ku lihat bermanja di peluk yang lain.

tiada lagi maaf dari ku, kini ku kan pergi tinggalkanmu.

2011-02-09T06:21:00.001-08:00

hello world. :)

i wanna aim for business studies. but i don't know where to start or what to do. :s

i am sick AGAIN. i never like being sick cos i'm scared of suffering 'A' again. heal, heal, heal me soon. yes?

main highlight for today is that i slept for two straight hours after finishing all the houseworks. i missed out maghrib. and i left all my homeworks undone. and i didn't do any revision. this is negative, NEGATIVE. :/

i usually end up with you. i mean, i come to you, you come to me. you're my best friend. and i'm grateful. :)

"easy come, easy go."
its the same like its easy to fall in love, yet its also easy to move on. this goes out to only SOME particular people. there are some reasons why they finally get to move on.

you fall in love, but you didn't get to confess, then your partner has someone who he/she might fall for, what would you do? its actually your fault for not telling in the first place. there's no others to blame. you just gotta let it flow now. raise your white flag and live happily. cos you know you deserve much better. its not like he/she is the only perfect human being living in this place called earth. there are still lots of fish in the sea. :)

i'm done. muchos love. x

2011-02-06T11:05:00.000-08:00

skies are dark its time for rain, final call you board the train, heading for tomorrow, i wave goodbye to yesterdays, wipe the tears you hide your face, blinded by the sorrow.

how can i be smiling like before, when baby you don't love me anymore.

say it isn't so, tell me you're not leaving, say you change your mind now, that i am only dreaming, this is not goodbye, this is not yet over, if you wanna know, i don't wanna let go, so say it isn't so.

ten to five atleast we tried, we're still alive but hope just died, as they close the door behind you, whistle blows and tons of steel, shake the ground beneath the wheels, as i wish i never found you.

how can i be smiling when you're gone, will i be strong enough to carry on.

miles and miles to go before i can say, before i can lay, my love for you endlessly, oh darling oh, i got miles and miles to go, before anyone will ever hear me laugh again.

ps, i miss you. and i mean it. :)

2011-02-06T10:53:00.001-08:00

hey. guess what? had crabs a while ago and now what, lets face allergies! haish.

went to aminah arif yesterday to celebrate zulfa's success. the waiter who took the order has a good look. wink wink. HA! i had soto and it was awesome. its been a while. lol. i saw ..... its been a while jua. you're getting HOT, not getting old. :p

i bought dvds and now i'm officially broke. :/ can i have my money in the bank? desperately in need. HAHA.

woke up late today. near 1? i blame YOU. my phone was on silent the time you texted. lol.

i watched - life as we know it. it was the perfectly awesome! i laugh, i smile. OMG. its just so amazing. you better watch it. its so damn funny. ;)

10/10

gotta go and hit the bed now, later lovelies! x

2011-02-04T07:19:00.000-08:00

4th February 2011.

we'll be missing you. we will always remember you and your little steps. you're so quiet that we don't even get to know each other. you're so innocent that i never get to even touch you.

i can't continue my words. i can't control myself from crying now. oh god.

... tell me you're not leaving. :(

2011-02-02T06:09:00.001-08:00

i'm with rafiqah atm. she's busy with her vocabulary tasks. i'm just acting like i'm actually busy here. lol.

its official. i'm officially sick! ergh. i'm surprised that i slept with no airconditioner and no fan switched on. my room's temperature is like approximately 10 degree celcius? hahaha. last night was a real pressure, can't stop myself from sneezing and shivering.

so anyway, happy 1st february! :)

"he noticed that i'm interested, and i can tell that he's interested, since we both interested, we should make this move."

"and the fella he came with, don't even noticed she's about to be alone, and the back of my mind, i felt wrong, but then i told to myself hold on."

"he don't want her, he wants me, he don't want her, not anymore, he came here with her, he's goin to live with me. he dont want her, not anymore."

i'm loving this song, though its not complete yet. cos its pirated. :p and btw, i changed the lyrics, i mean from she to he, he to she. geddit niggerz? haha.

---

edited.
i fell asleep when i was suppose to post the previous one. so here i am, back on track again.

hi wednesday! lets go on a vacation tomorrow! YEAY. i wish. but no. i have a date. i'm booked. lol. ;)

so, anyway. i'm still curious on what happen in mesir now. anybody wants to explain further? i'm concern though. kesian wah tu orang yang inda guilty ah. i mean yang terancam, whatever you call it. paloi. budoh. goblok. HAHAHAHA.

---

"should've told him that i was rich." mau kau mun aku kaya? kaya ketawa. hahaha. shiz!

B-I-D! its a 'bad' word btw. a polite way to say something bad. lol.

sick, day 2. suka ku eh, suka! :s

i'm actually mad now. i don't like dealing with drama, so please ah? lari tah kau jauh sampai ke north pole kah, wherever comforts you, i just don't care. malas ku urang cemani ani. apa nya urang ani, mcm besigup, sudah habis di buang. mcm makan lauk, sudah makan isi, tulang di buang. BAHHH. now, makan tah kuih mu, jangan di buang ah? kay.

i'm done here.
x

2011-01-26T21:59:00.001-08:00

i'm a stan of justin bieber. you care? lol.

so hi and hello.

i'm home alone.

school works been making myself busy. got less time to relax and watch tele. even i fell asleep when i was actually doing research on the internet. tired much? HA!

today sir interviewed on how my previous teacher taught business. i received a compliment on my tasks. alhamdulillah. good start shall ends with good end? insyallah.

maths was confusing. i'm totally confused. different teacher, different ways.

i hope i'm not gonna suffer it again. i don't wanna be sick!

kay, i gotta go. siesta time. :)

2011-01-23T07:23:00.001-08:00

... i can see it in your eyes, the truth will never lies, i'm what you need, you can't fool me.

... now all you have to say is yes, cos baby you belong to me, and i belong to you.

i'm lovin it. ;)

-----

heyho readers!

i finished all my homeworks. done done done! finally. now all i gotta do is ....... tidur. :p

so i'm like ... hello hi you. hmmmmmmm.

2011-01-19T07:28:00.001-08:00

fxadgmptpagxpngelgtadjw! wpjgadjmgfwptgamjfra! xfgsgmjfgjle! ergh! i hate this and i hate you the most.

.
.

hey you, lets talk on the phone like there's no tomorrow. :)

2011-01-17T06:11:00.001-08:00

read this, READ THIS. ptek is hell boring. dull ah. hahaha. come sue me for letting school's reputation down. did i say something wrong? or you who needs to make things a little more interesting? :p

i'm ...... BORED! :(

i watched - my sister's keeper yesterday for the second time. it was premiere on HBO, so i recommended babu to watch it. cos it was quite a good movie. oh yes, didn't cry myself a river this time. lol.

and that thomas dekker is damn hot. his eyes, his eyes~ ;)

i'm still trying to recall on my outings with the ladies. i'll try to update soon!

gotta go now. later.

2011-01-13T21:08:00.000-08:00

thanks, you, for making me smile. atleast. though you're annoying at times. but yeah, glad enough to have a guy friend who's there for me when i'm scared. ;)

i had a really good sleep sampai all my pillows went everywhere on the floor the time i woke up. hahaha.

i'm waiting for peppep to pick me up. i hope that i won't puke. cos i think i am not feeling so well now. lets just hope it won't happen yeah. HAHAHA.

gotta go, i need to ....... relax a bit. so i won't puke. lol. HAHA.

2011-01-13T13:48:00.000-08:00

nightmare ...... and i wanted to cry. :(

switched on my phone and checked you. i wanna text you and tell you about it cos you're in it but yeah something pulled me back.

see, i know my own limit. :) i don't think its nice to blab something to someone who never thought of you unless you appeared. its better to stay silent right? plus i never wanted to think about you. but somehow the thoughts of you distracted me everytime i tried to escape. gahhh! what am i talkin about. don't mind my nonsense. i just wanna let it out.

i thought you're the one, but yeah i made mistakes, you're not. stupid mistake. :)

be happy. thats it. its nearly 6 in the morning, i should continue to sleep now.

later.

2011-01-09T09:19:00.001-08:00

i'm looking on the bright side and balancing the whole thing. cos you and i both love. ;)

i'm eating kfc's whipped potato while watching personal taste. a piece of heaven! thanks dad for the kfc's today. ;)

my hair is officially short again. waaaaaaaaaaa lawaaaaa! HAHAHA. unsatisfied with my fringe, its very much pendek. not even near my eyebrow. pendek sangat. :( the hairstylist said, 'cannot see your beautiful eyes bah.' HAHAHA. manasajatah lah. :p

i am weak on fighting temptation. i couldn't resist that tempting shawls. beli lagi, beli lagi. money oh my money! haish. dapat sudah merompak bank ni ah? lol.

i'm out of words. i'll update more later. and yeah, about the three men in blacks who came to my house the other day, i think its better if i just tell you in person rather than writing it all here. i don't want to spend the rest of my life in jail. takut ku yo. hahaha. so, who's in curiousity atu, sabar tah dulu ah, nanti i story telling. ;)

goodnight.

2011-01-03T06:10:00.000-08:00

2011-01-03T05:44:00.001-08:00

HAPPY NEW YEAR. its better late than never right? ;)

sorry that i left my blog abandoned, been busy with the family lately. hows your holiday people? having fun? HA.

---

i went to miri on the 30th. first of all, thanks to babu and babah for the sum of money. second of all, thanks to my brain for cooperating very well cos i went safely home with stuffs and no malaysian money left. lol. i never will forget what had happened in miri, i mean, my tragedy. haish! it was the most humiliating memory ever. have you ever felt dizzy on your way to far places, and at that time, you have the thought of vomitting in public cos you've no where to go? cos i just did. =.= it was due that i drank soft drinks, and not taking breakfast. khayal wah rasanya. HAHA. fortunately, babah bought me to kfc soon after, and treat me nuggets and a cup of hot coffee. what a relief. lol. then, my journey of shopping till i drop started. ;) oh btw, i finally bought myself shawls that i long for. HEHE. puas hati, senang hati. :p nonetheless, i really had fun ..... shopping! lol.

---

had bbq the next day, at nini manggis. unfortunately, there was no kambing this time. :( but yeah, there were varieties of foods served every once in a while. haha. me and babu watched cuti-cuti cinta at the living room while the others were busy outside. some were eating, some were watching tele. everyone were with their activites. :p

---

stayed home the 1st of january. didn't attend the engagement day of my cousin cos i was lazy. that night, i watched starstruck with my sister, zulfa. sterling knight looks like my kitten. seriously! HAHA. nevertheless, starstruck was awesome!

9/10

---

went out shopping for school stuffs yesterday. had to go off early, cos its brunei, shopping for the very last minute? lol. first stop was yayasan. i regretted that i didn't buy the music video dvd. tell you the truth, it haunt me. i no kid. i wanna buy it. :/ due to the scratches on the dvd itself, i cancelled of buying. :s had lunch at CAM. babu's treat. thank you. :) then, we stopped by at first emporium (sp?) there's this music store, i saw om shanti om's poster outside it, so i went searching. it took me quite a time searching and finally made a decision to just ask. HAHA. but mission failed, the dvd is out of stock. so i bought easy A instead.

had the sister's time that night. we straighten our hair and captured pictures. lol. then, i watched easy A with zulfa. the movie was complicated, i mean the language. but yeah, worth-the-buy movie.

6/10

---

cooked corn soup for lunch today. failed. HAHAHA. luckily, its only for me. ;)

its a long post. enjoy reading, or not. :p later.

2010-12-27T07:52:00.000-08:00

just watched - i'm not single and syurga cinta. saja kan flash back. it was due to my disappointment of watching the most boring movie ever, social network, that is. i was expecting it to be the bomb but somehow entah eh, turn off ku tarus. lead actor nya atu kali luan telabih handsome, or the video quality. blergh. i didn't finish watching cos it was a two hours movie. boring lah pokoknya. akarnya, inda siuk, jgn th di liat. haha. i bought it pasal ada justin timberlake saja. :p

i can't wait to watch the final match between indonesia and malaysia this coming wednesday! i'll cry myself a river if indonesia don't win. HA! its quite impossible to get goals to actually catch up with malaysia's and defeat them but still, yeah, nothing is impossible if you just believe. lol. go markus, i know you can do it. gain tah strength, jumpa th dulu bini mu atu kay? mun rasanya rindu. hahaha. kidding. love you markus! :p

tomorrow i'll be listing of what to buy during the trip. lets just hope banyak kaching turun dari langit. hahaha. my aim is ....... supra, not. :p kana marah saja karang. haha. i'll choose nike, fo sho. ;)

esok i malas nak pergi rumah busu adang kerana i nak stay kat rumah. HEHE. oh oh, i wish esuk babah bagi top up, susah ku online. :/

bah eh, later.

ps, just so you know, i miss us. :)

2010-12-23T08:51:00.001-08:00

sang this to izzah right on her face this afternoon. lol.

... tolong lihat aku, dan jawab pertanyaan ku, mau di bawa kemana hubungan kita, jika kau terus menunda-nunda, dan tak pernah nyatakan cinta.

:p

eversince the holiday started, all i used to do is watch tele at yuri's. morning, afternoon, night time. 24/7 ani wah. believe me. its no joke! hahaha. bila tah kan belajar ni cubatah? HAHA.

i bought a new bag. or should i say, my new school bag? satisfied lah ku berabis! pasal with this bag, i could still afford to buy a shirt for the miri trip, though the shirt yg ku bali atu mahal. lol. baik jua bag atu 50% off wah ah. zulfa and izzah bought bags too, tapi durang 70% off. layak lah murahnya. ish ish ish. HAHAHA.

but unfortunately, my money is near to habis already. which is not a good sign pasal i want to buy supra lagi. :(

oh oh, ada this worker, a guy, ia nyanyi lagu adam dan hawa, skill nya ah. cinta adam dan hawa~ HAHAHA. also i was amazed by this guy, tapi married sudah pulang, lawa lah, soleh lagi usulnya. bisai lah semuanya. macam dude harlino alim, cematu tah tu. haha. haish, complete tarus my needs and wants! insyallah. :)

i am malas to write all in english, ngalih now. honestly, malas plg. hahaha. i actually have something to confess here since i know you'll be visiting, reading jua, but macam krg vice versa tah plg. so yeah. inda tah jadi. :)

gotta go now, have to wake up early isuk to dangani babu. later earthlings! smile, and the world will smile for you. HEHE. ☺

2010-12-18T11:42:00.001-08:00

its three o'clock already. tried to sleep, but i just can't. so why not write something. heyho! ;)

i woke up late today. i guess it was at 2, cos i finished shower exactly at half past 2, so prolly yeah by that time. haha. skip lunch. kidding. had two small slices of potatoes only cos i'm ... full? lol. izzah cooked her so-called dimsum soon after, now thats my lunch. haha.

KCK finally come to an end ... tomorrow. :p i hope its going to be a worth-the-wait ending.

i'm out of words now. errrr ... lets just talk about yesterday. i had my quality of time with babu and the sisters. dad went out to play badminton somewhere. so, we, the ladies, were busy browsing through the old photo albums. there were lots of classic pictures of babu and babah. cool ones! and not to forget great stories. hahaha. soon after that, we went to babu's room to place all the albums back. then, randomly we went for a so-called photoshoot, at babu's. lol. babu joined too. haha. we were trying all the tudongs yg arah bilik babu and my new shawls yg zulfa bought from kk. sadly, there were not much of my photos cos i was incharge taking the photos. sigh. lol. nevertheless, i had fun. its like the best ladies night ever. ;)

we all were craving for maggi kari that night, so zulfa masak for us. thanks bro! haha.

i'm sleepy, esok ..... akhir bangun lagi. hahaha. gotcha! :p

ps, to my dearest friends, my sister been asking of my missing dvds, so when are you girls going to lend them back? :p

pps, when is the sleepover? jadi? or inda? :p :p

and a reminder to myself, buy more dvds. hahaha.

later.
x

2010-12-16T09:11:00.001-08:00

i should've realised it from the very first place. yet, i pushed it away and didn't care. now what? a big disappointment. HA! nyaman. :)

get over it. over you. get over it. over you. get over it. over you. get over it. over you. get over it. over you. get over it. over you. get over it. over you. get over it. over you. get over it. over you. get over it. over you.

:/

i always doubted when i tried to text you, and i don't know why.

chill saja kali aye? hmmmmmm.

2010-12-13T08:35:00.000-08:00

i should've blog yesterday, unfortunately i went off early cos i was tired. i think my post will be long? will see. :p

---

i had a very busy sunday. attended a wedding ceremony somewhere at ... rimba? or was it lambak? pokoknya, perumahan lah. KALI. hahaha. arrived home ... and sleep. then i was woke by babu's voice saying if i would like to join fishing at serasa. first thought, i don't want to cos i'm tired and lazy. second thought, since i don't want to be alone at home, so i joined.

it was worthed. cos i get to taste pisang goreng. HAHAHAH. no lah, i had fun at serasa, thats it. its just that i dislike ....... the people. i mean muslim people nowadays. ish ish ish. mmkay, like i care? malas ku ingau. HAHA. oh, i saw this animals which babu cakap its a seal, singa laut? tapi bukan banarnya. haha. i was being sakai, so i took pictures, unfortunately i couldn't post it here cos it was unclear, since i was using my phone to capture them. i named them sammy and sherley. macam arah cerita sammy's adventure ah. :p i told babu and izah the animals were actually searching for true love. hahaha. yada yada yada. reached home at 7 plus? i couldn't recall. ;)

---

so, today is monday. i woke up late. was woke by afgan, i mean, my ringtone. haha. tijah tried to call but i didn't respond. in a coma lah katakan. :p i went to ptek with tijah to sent a letter to mr lim. we stopped by at babu's office to fetch the letter. there i saw babu in pink, for the first time. she looks cute! HEHE. ;) as we arrived, kosong wah the admin. there were these two teachers talkin, so i went in and tell them i wanted to give a letter to mr lim.

the drama then started. this teacher asked me why i sent the letter and who sent it. so i told them it was from my mother regarding of .... how should i say this, school stuffs? haha. it was for mr lim, but this teacher opened it. i was like "what is she doing?" "is your name there? its not for you. how can you do that?" didn't say it out loud ofcourse. but yeah, that was no manner. she shouldn't do that in the first place. another thing was that when i was there, she seems to not bother, busy tah plg kn becerita sama this other teacher. bukan plg kn kurang ajar ah, pissed off wah ku jadinya mun kamu cematu atu. RESPECT ME IF YOU WANT ME TO RESPECT YOU. tpor kamu ah kurang, usahakan tah kali ah? jangan jua luan babal. :) kamu bulih, aku pun bulih ni. umur peduli apa. pikirtah saja ulah diri. THANKS!

i guess thats it for today. later. ;)

2010-12-11T10:28:00.001-08:00

hey mister, got this for you. :)

---

AFGAN
SEPERTI BINTANG

tak pernah aku merasakan seperti ini, kau buat aku jatuh cinta, dan jatuh cinta pada dirimu.

kau seperti bintang, menerangi setiap langkah ku, kau seperti bintang, dirimu yang kini menjadi pilihan ku.

dan kini hanyalah nafasmu yg jadi nafasku, kau buat aku jatuh cinta, dan jatuh cinta pada dirimu.

---

AFGAN
MASIH UNTUKMU

mungkin aku bukanlah aku, yang terlukiskan di mimpimu, mungkin aku membuat lukamu, seiring waktu yang berlalu, engkau meninggalkan diriku, menepi kan diriku.

kini aku berharap waktu, membawamu dan kekasihmu, merasa jemu dengan waktu, dan berpisah, lalu kau datang pada ku, saat ku masih untukmu.

ku berharap suatu hari nanti aku menjadi yang kau mau, aku kehilangan dirimu, sungguh kehilanganmu.

kau datang pada ku, saat ku masih untukmu.

---

AFGAN
BAWALAH CINTAKU

sempat tak ada lagi kesempatan untuk ku bisa bersamamu, kini ku tau bagaimana cara ku untuk dapat terus denganmu.

bawalah pergi cinta ku, ajak kemana pun kau mau, jadikan temanmu, temanmu paling kau cinta, disini ku pun begitu, terus cintaimu dihidupku, di dalam hatiku, sampai waktu yang pertemukan kita nanti.

2010-12-11T09:08:00.001-08:00

watched this movie a while ago. and it was the bomb, though i don't like how it ended. afgan acted like an amateur already. he just need to learn how to cry, cos it would've been more heartfelt if he was crying when jane was about to be operate and when jane was about to leave. yeah, thats it. need i tell you more? i'm out of words cos i was like an insane, i can feel my heart beating, melting wah meliat afgan ganya. lol. it was my first time watching afgan without his specs. and ia cute, seriously. if jumping from a tall building can make my wish come true to confront and meet afgan, i wanted to. eksen ku sakit apa. just like in the movie. kidding. :p you people out there should watch this movie, cos it was ........ afganistic. :p

"makasih al udah beri aku cinta. walau cuman sesaat." - jane.
"selamanya. selamanya." - alfa.

2010-12-09T08:11:00.001-08:00

heyho. hello. hey. ;)
whats up?

today was the end of my colourful sparky world. everything turned upside down, mixed feelings, heartbroken, confusion and all those negative stuffs. it was when i found out the letter that i long for appeared to be at the mailbox. who found it first? daddy. scolded, yes. :/ mom read it already before having dinner, she didn't say anything, not even a word. so i am quite relieved a little. i'm in a serious dilemma now. :(

i was questioning myself whether i should change my subjects to a new one or try to deal with my current subjects once again. i don't want to take any malay subjects due to reasons that i refuse to let out here. fyi, i'm not underestimating malay here. i have my own reasons. :) i guess i should work hard starting from now on. no more playing and all the waste-of-time.

i should've sleep now cos my friends are coming tomorrow morning. i have to make sure that the living room is clean and my room too. well, just in case they wanna borrow dvds. :p haven't plan of what outfits to wear. cos zulfa brought along all her cardigans to kk, so i can't borrow one. :/ lol.

"kau seperti bintang, menerangi setiap langkah ku, kau seperti bintang, dirimu yang kini menjadi pilihanku." ☺

2010-12-08T09:35:00.000-08:00

last night i tried but i couldn't sleep, thoughts of you were in my head, i was lonely and i needed you next to me, life is harder since you left, i never meant to do you wrong, and now all is said and done, i hope you won't be gone too long.

where do i go, what do i do, i can't deny, i still feel something, and boy, i wish you could say you feel the same, you've broken the bond, i gotta move on, but how do i end this lonely feeling, you've gone, i'm here, alone, i guess its time to grow.

i try to speak, but my words never catch the air, like you never knew i was there, take me to the days when you really cared, can we make love reappear, i can't go on the roads too long, and now all is said and done, i can't go forward if my heart's still where i'm coming from.

crying time is over, i know i can't control her feelings, if he won't return, then i guess i'll be a woman, and move on.

time to grow, and move on, make life better than it was before, time to grow and move on, make love better than i did before.

though you've gone, and i'm here alone, i guess its to grow.

:)

2010-12-07T11:59:00.001-08:00

had the greatest outings with the family tonight. awesome moments! ;)

i didnt bought dvds this time. selalunya bali wah. lol. nothing new seems to attract me. none calling out, hey-come-and-watch-me. haha. izzah bought a hindustan movie, so we watched em soon as we reached home.

a good movie, better. just don't reach best yet. :p i prefer shah rukh khan as Aman's and priyanka chopra as Shreya's. right no? HAHAH. nevertheless, the surrounding in the movie was awesome! i feel like going to sydney! :/ maybe someday in the future. HEHEHE.

after movie, i went to zulfa's room to chill. cos nights still young baby! :p so there were me, izzah and zulfa. we were with our cells checking facebook and twitter. i was checking my fb and read out N's update. didn't notice that izzah was searching for his fb. mulut berbisa ani lagi, adakah bagitau he was a fling once. AAAAAAAAAA! =.= stupid hannan. hahaha. whats even more humiliating was that she read my comment on his picture. like again, AAAAAAAA! damn it. hahaha.

sent zulfa symbol codes cos she wanted the heart shape code. so yeah. she is apparently being sakai at the moment, updating her twitter with the symbols. HAHAH.

i guess i better get off to sleep now. cos seriously, its super late. i promise to wake up early tomorrow. yikes!

later loves!

2010-12-05T12:13:00.000-08:00

2010-12-04T09:05:00.001-08:00

a very great movie. with a very nice scenes too. two thumbs up! ;)

sophie is an american girl who works for the new yorker magazine and is a fact checker. to put some spark in her life she decides to go on a pre-honeymoon with her workaholic chef fiance victor to verona. however the workaholic victor is unmoved by the romance of italy and utilises his time to do research for his soon to open restaurant ignoring sophie. the lonely sophie discovers by chance an unanswered letter to juliet by claire in 1950's - one of thousands of missives left at the fictional lovers verona courtyard, which are typically answered by secretaries of juliet. she answered it and soon enough the now elderly claire arrives in verona with her handsome barrister grandson charlie who works for human rights. charlie and sophie take an instant dislike for each other with charlie behaving very brusque with sophie while she is very sarcastic with him. on the other hand claire is still looking to rediscover her long lost love, lorenzo bartolini. sophie thinking claire's story might help her in her writing career decides to help her in her quest. what happen next is a story of romantic twists and turns. they look for many lorenzo bartolinis. after many days of searching, they find that a lorenzo bartolini has been dead. an angry charlie blames sophie for his grandmother's sadness, he yells at her, stating that she does not know what real loss is, which causes sophie to walk away, upset. claire, seeing the little dispute, tell charlie that he was wrong and that sophie's mother had walked away from her when she was a little girl. the next day, claire insisted charlie apologize to sophie at breakfast and he did. after dinner, sophie went out and talked to charlie about love and he accidentally kissed her. early morning, as it was their last day of searching for claire's long lost love, claire, on a whim, pointed on a vineyard, to charlie and asked if he could stop by so the three of them could have a farewell drink for sophie. as charlie drove down the road, claire saw a man who exactly looked like her lorenzo. she yelled at charlie to stop and he complied. it turns out that the man is lorenzo's grandson. claire and lorenzo end up meeting. back at new york, sophie and victor decided to break up. sophie returns to verona to be at claire's wedding. she finds charlie there with another woman and runs out. charlie comes to find her and she admits to him that she loves him, but tells him to go back to his date. telling sophie that the girl was actually his cousin, he tells her he loves her as well and kisses her.

"because the truth is, i am madly, truly, deeply, passionately in love with you." - charlie.

"can you move?" - sophie.
"only my lips" - charlie.

& christopher egan is ... HOT. ♥

2010-12-02T08:15:00.000-08:00

if only ..... :)

2010-12-02T07:52:00.001-08:00

i'm sorry that i didn't update my blog daily, its not that i'm busy, i pretty much just wanna try to get rid of all this social networks - this include my very own facebook.

holiday just started. whats your plan? my plan this december is to enjoy myself, NOT. i have important tasks to be fulfill. :s

i'm sleepy already. didn't watch KCK till the very end cos i'm scared being at the tv's room all by myself. its due that there's a store room behind, and its dark. so i thought it was spooky. kay? enough. lol.

anyway, i'm currently listening to afgan's. and i very much love this song. its titled - bawalah cintaku.

sumpah, tak ada lagi kesempatan ku untuk bisa bersamamu, kini ku tau bagaimana cara ku untuk dapat terus bersamamu.

bawalah pergi cintaku, pada ke mana pun kau mau, jadikan temanmu, temanmu paling kau cinta, di sini ku pun begitu, terus cintaimu di hidupku, di dalam hatiku, sampai waktu yang pertemukan kita nanti.

:)

well, i guess thats it for today. toodles.

2010-11-26T04:25:00.001-08:00

I ♥ YOU BABY! ;)

2010-11-25T22:35:00.001-08:00

bukalah pintu hatimu, biarkan cinta bersatu.

mata mu, mata ku, bertemu, hati mu, hati ku, kan berpadu, hanya kau ku punya, takkan ku mencari gantimu, ku sayang kamu, mungkin ini silap ku, hati mu luka kerna ego ku.

bukalah pintu hatimu, ku tunggu kasihmu, biar cinta bersatu, hatiku mencarimu, kau lari berbatu batu, usahlah tinggalkan diriku, kau lah cintaku, ku takkan lepaskan kamu.

pernah ku bertanya, mungkinkah kau sudi memberi secebis hatimu lagi padaku, namun kau menyepi, ku resah menanti.

I ♥ SYARIF MOST. ;)

just watched him on youtube. he's very charming. i am truly madly deeply insanely in love with him. not that i ditched shad kay? still love shad kay? HAHAHA.

to make things more clear, i have the THING for good-looking guy. i mean, people who dress perfectly, have good body ofcourse. and smells good too. ;) last but not least, with lotsa money indeed. kidding. :p

whaddup nigga?

missed breakfast, had lunch. and i'm full. =.= didn't i say i'm in a worry since that health talk thing. its that we girls should only eat 1500 calories a day? macam everytime i wanna eat i would first count it down so that i didn't exceed that amount. HAISHHHH! annoying wah tu. hahaha.

i'll update later. i wanna watch tele. later lovelies! ;)

2010-11-25T08:28:00.001-08:00

HEYHO!

i changed my layouts. cantik kanzzzz. :p it took me hours to get everything done. i never like dealing with the codes cos i usually made a mess. lol.

i have a bad news. my name wasn't on the promoted list. i am upset but i no care. its my lost. :) and that i have to attend a briefing on monday. if it wasn't for the future living, i would prolly have stop school and find job. sigh. why is my life never that easy anyway?

YOU, for the second time. ♥ same place, same shades. :p KS530. lol. black suits you well. HEHEHE.

right, i'm gonna go sleep now and dream of a very wonderful wedding with Shad, a romantic honeymoon in paris with Shad, all the happy endings. all with Shad kay? ♥ HAHAHA.

2010-11-24T03:56:00.000-08:00

HEHEHEHEHEHE.
rrrrrrr! :p

2010-11-23T07:47:00.001-08:00

there was a health talk held at the college last monday. so, this psychologist told to atleast list five things that had made you happy which may include the past.

things that had made me happy,

. a wonderful boyfriend like AMNH. i regretted that i was blind, i never saw you as a loyal and sincere one. i'm grateful to have a good friend who cares about me once. you're always be my superhuman. :)
. trustworthy friend like AA, who knows me very well. you know who you are. ;) and not forgetting my other great, great, great friends too.
. my songs. lol. but seriously, they made me happy. cos they expressed my feelings.
. going to miri with the family. need i tell you more? ;)
. when i first bought my phone, with my very own money. i work for it and achieve it. :)
. working at ezy printing. cos i get to experience how hard it is to work. and that i met ka tini. :D

i think i'll stop there. cos i'm running out of words.

wanna continue watching BOF now. ;)

2010-11-20T08:34:00.001-08:00

*edited. i deleted the actual one cos .... its not good to express personal problems here. :)

i'm listening to my latest songs on my playlists. i have like more than fifty of them. didn't get to listen all cos usually i'll end up sleeping with the headphones. =.= lol.

oh right, i'm planning to cut my hair soon cos i hate hairdrying. like seriously. it took me ages to get them dry. :s

its near to december. and i'm thinking of my to-do plan. should i go for a work out? or maybe eat sleeping pills and wake up knowing its already january? HAHAHA.

i'm attracted to armada. oh please don't ask me why. ;)

till then. xx

2010-11-15T07:49:00.001-08:00

so, i was doing the tesco presentation and my sister was like,

"you talk like a nigga."

"i am a nigga. well, to be exact, you too! no offence. HAHAHA."

"whats offence?"

"offended lah"

"apa tu?"

"tutup kipas." *as in off fan. lol.

"whats offence then?"

"tutup kipassssssss."

HAHAHAH.

i think she's pretty much annoyed by me. NO OFFENCE! hahaha.

2010-11-14T08:15:00.000-08:00

you're someone i can count on when i need a helping hand. you're compassionate and loving. you always understand.

alhamdulillah, i'm so thankful to have a mother like you. there is no other who could fill your shoes, cos you're one of a kind.

happy birthday babu. you're always my greatest! i love you. :)

♥

2010-11-12T07:48:00.001-08:00

"kini harus aku lewati sepi hariku tanpa dirimu lagi, biarkan kini ku berdiri melawan waktu tuk melupakanmu, walau pedih hati, namun aku bertahan."

whats wrong with my playlists? why kept on playing sad songs? :/

mmmmmkay. my nose hurts so bad that i feel like chopping it off. seriously. i felt spicy! :s HAHA. i kept on going in and out from loo due to ..... ergh, bad flu. *rolled eyes. been suffering em for a day now. you messin my life, i no care, go on, go on! HAHAHA.

babah just came to my room to hantar the laptop. OMG, my jantung almost gugur of a severe shock. i should've hired some technician to put an electric bell outside my room, so anyone can actually bell first before entering. atleast, i don't die of a shock! labih tia. hahaha. anyway, i'm sure babah tadi was like, "eh, anak ani, alum tah kan tidur, esuk skulah. akhir lagi bangun tu karang." i can read. HAHAHA.

i don't watch KCK today due to this buggin flu. and i think i just missed out the loving part. i guess? maybe. and i felt much more depressed cos my eyes aren't sleepy YET. like hello, its 12! TWELVE. i am suppose to sleep already. unfortunately, i'm NOT. :s

bah eh, i'm gonna go watch charlie st cloud before R.I.P :p

2010-11-09T05:07:00.001-08:00

i got tiny little bee stings on my heart, where the love blooms. honey, can i only be with you? ;) hummingbirds around my head, hummingbirds around my head.

so, heyho! jaiho. HAHAHAH.

i'm done with my maths, i'm done with a little business reading. i'm being rajin due to ..... the 4 U's. shiz, i'm so scared of retaining again. no! :/ well, i wanna change to a better person, a better student.

i remembered three days ago, when i unintentionally did something which may cause ..... so i ..... and i had this dream. thats when i ....

i'll keep on trying. i'll try. thats a MUST.

anyway, i've to go. i have to go set my dinner and zoom to yuri's room. i mean, yuri as in the prabola. HAHAHA.

later. muchoslovas!

2010-11-05T22:31:00.001-07:00

i think i walked too fast today when i was on my way to the car. cos i passed by more than 10 people who walked a little bit slow. (i guess?) like when you're driving on a race, to the left then to the right, left again, to the right again. thats what i do, i walked passed them and i was like "sorry." "excuse me." they're left behind, like so far away. how awesome is that? HAHAHAHA. okay, i'm exaggerating. lol.

anyway, babu's door just bang like a lunatic throwing big pebbles continously to his own porshe. lol.

i think my brain is working upside down today. why? cos i accidentally put my shoes in the refrigerator. no kid. HAHA.

headache alert. i kid. :p i'm off for a siesta, i'm so tired after dating jonas. haha. later lovelies.

2010-11-05T10:47:00.001-07:00

i was gonna go online but ..... whats my password again? lol. i am so gonna create a new email address.

i remembered days ago when sir asked of examples and my friend come out with COKE. and sir was quite unclear with her answer, he was repeating the word. so i was like, "what is he thinking? C**K?" then i go "astagafirullah. now what." HAHAHAHAH. that was the day i thought business class was a lot fun and enjoyable. ;)

i watched 2012 today. i didn't expect its going to be a two and a half hours movie. i thought that the movie is somehow exaggerating. how possible is that when its already the end of the world, and there's still people who survive? by building a big ship, living inside, is safe? thats just so ridiculous! right, i'm gonna stop babbling. but nevertheless, its quite a good movie though.

anyway, have you heard about what happen in indonesia recently? i guess i was being too emotional that i cried. but honestly, i felt symphaty. and scared too. the reason is because ...

ps, hidup adalah anugerah. :)

2010-11-03T05:33:00.000-07:00

LOL.
ROTFL.

LOL.
ROTFL.

is that ............. me?

=_________________="

HAHAHA.

i'll update later. i'm doing my readings on HRM now, so yeah. gotta run. later. ;)

2010-11-02T05:55:00.000-07:00

:) :) :) :) :)

BRANDY
LONG DISTANCE

there's only so many songs that i can sing to pass the time, and i'm running out of things to do to get you off my mind, all i have is this picture in a frame, that i hold close to see your face everyday.

with you is where i'd rather be, but we're stuck where we are, it's so hard, you're so far, this long distance is killing me, i wish that you are here with me, but we're stuck where we are, it's so hard, you're so far, this long distance is killing me.

it's so hard, it's so hard, where we are, where we are, you're so far, this long distance is killing me, it's so hard, it's so hard, where we are, where we are, you're so far, this long distance is killing me.

now the minutes feel like hours, and the hours feel like days,
while i'm away, you know right now i can't be home, but i'm coming home soon
coming home soon, all i have is this picture in a frame, that i hold close to see your face everyday.

can you hear me crying?
can you hear me crying?
can you hear me crying?

there's only so many songs that i can sing to pass the time.

2010-11-02T05:38:00.001-07:00

LOL. you care? :p

CHERYL COLE FT AUGUST RIGO
BETTER TO LIE

i'm screaming, he's talking over, i've asked him twice, says he don't know her, i raise a fist, he grabs my wrist, ask for the truth, and this is what i get, i only asked him, who called your cellular, he said that he don't know, but yeah it was a girl, and he's chilling, like nothing of it, now i'm tripping, i'm yelling up in public like.

can you please just be honest, you tell me some stories but i just don't want to know, no i just don't believe it, and all i want to do is keep screaming, and he's like.

please calm down baby, because you're talking too loud, i'm hollering, hollering, you won't let the truth come out, so please calm down baby, because you're firing too high, should i keep the truth inside, so maybe it was better to lie.

said its better, its better, i never should've let her know, it was better to lie.

i walk away, so he comes after, i'm running quick, but he runs faster, so explanation that i don't need, he tells me baby, can you sit down and breathe, freaking out, hysterical, said you shouldn't lie, would've been better off, so silly me thinking you're a good guy, maybe now you know not to lie.

i thought it would be better if i did you right, but i guess i should've told you lies, you're right, you're right, and now you're standing there telling me.

2010-10-31T18:27:00.000-07:00

what if ...

... i tell you that i love you, would you believe that?

... i need you, would you even try to save me?

... i had never let you go, would you be the man i used to know?

... every single things that i said, means nothing to you?

... i'm the only one who thinks we should get along?

.
.
.

☺

2010-10-31T09:01:00.001-07:00

seperti pelangi, cintamu di hatiku, walau indah ku rasa, kau tak mungkin di sini di hatiku.

andai di hatimu, hanya aku cintamu, melukiskan inginku, walau kini ku mengerti, kau bukan untukku.

harusnya ku tak pernah mencintamu, walaupun semuanya indah, kau yang tak mungkin ku miliki, seperti pelangi ku hanya bisa menatapmu.

tak seindah mimpi, tanpamu di sisiku, semua hilang dan pergi, hanya rindu yang ku rasa, hancurkan hatiku.

ingin ku melupakanmu, namun selalu ku rindu, tak ingin ku sesali, walau selalu di hatiku.

... i've tried my best but somehow it just won't work anymore. eversince ........ :)

2010-10-25T10:14:00.001-07:00

never thought that the previous post would be that long. now i'm sure, you'll be bored reading em. i guarantee that. come on, just read till the end. ;)

so, whats up?

i encountered headaches today. too much of sleep i guess? or vice versa. lol. anyways, seeing myself in a disguise doesn't feel so right. to tell you more, it was during psychology, i was said to be the most quiet student in class. in conclusion, i felt bullied by words. damn it. HAHAHA. i am sorry to say, i'm not that close to my mates, and that the person sitting next to me is ..... sorry, but i don't really get along with people like you. its kinda awkward cos ..... yeah. HAHA. jahat eh. sorry. :) atleast, i don't put bad things here. ;) another thing to share, i am happy to have a supportive friends, i mean my BE mates. we've known each other just this year, but it felt like years already. you girls are definitely in my circles. also to the others who respectively close to me. i am thankful to have good friends like you guys. mmkay, macam kan mati saja. HAHAHA. i should stop. but nevertheless, i'm starting to love and enjoy college life. :D

oh, i cut my front hair fringe by myself. first is because i want it short. second is i don't like it long. third is its quite annoying cos i have to flip em everytime. lol. BUT i am much more disappointed as i accidentally cut them too short and not that balanced. menyesal tidak berguna. =.= now i have to wait it grow again, then cut it again, now is di saloon kay. HAHAHA.

my tele is switched off, and i kept on looking at the black screen cos ...... shiz! i don't wanna mention it here cos i'm a coward. shut up! HAHA. oh oh, i just remembered. tadi noon, i was with hayatul's talking and i saw oddysey's entering school, and thought it was daddy coming. then, it happened that the oddysey's is different. so i was like, "eh? indakan salah liat. tadi jua macam babah." (i wasn't wrong. there was two oddysey.) then, the oddysey's passed by us, we stared at the person inside, and both said, "oh, IAAAAAA." kekasih lama ku rupanya. HEHAHEHA. :p followed by the arrival of daddy soon after. hayatul is left alone waiting to be picked up. :p the purpose of me writing this here was so that i can remember it everytime. and that i won't ever forget that you're once my lover. HAHA.

i think i should go to sleep now. its getting late. tomorrow is a new day, definitely. later earthlings. ;)

2010-10-25T09:07:00.001-07:00

i got this from youtube, so i wrote it back. here it goes,

this is a story to remind people not to be afraid to express and confess their own feelings. :)

Amanda, she had a boyfriend, they grew up together. to Amanda, he's the only one, her everything. but to Jake, she's just another girl.

A : hey, wanna go out for a movie?
J : i can't.
A : oh. but why? do you need to study at home or something?
J : er, no.
A : then, why?
J : i'm meeting up with ... a friend later.

it was often like this living the life with him. he met other girls, like she is nothing important. eversince they're in a relationship, he never even speak out the word love to her. they never celebrate their anniversary, not even once. he didn't say anything from the first day. so it continued till 100 days, 200 days. everyday, when they were to bid goodbye after meetings, jake would just hand her a teddy. she had no idea why.

then, one day ...

A : um, jake.
J : yeah? don't drag, just say.
A : ... i love you. *look deep into his eyes.
J : uh, oh. here, just take this, ... and go home.

that was how he ignored her three precious words.

the teddy she received from him everyday filled her whole room. there were many. then one day, its her 18th years old birthday. when she got up in the morning, she pictured a dinner with him. she stranded herself in the room with full hopes he would call.

lunch passed.
dinner passed.
he still didn't call.

then at around two in the morning, he finally called. he told her to get out of the house. she was so excited.

A : jake?
J : oh here, i bought you this. take it. *handed her a teddy.
A : whats this?
J : i forget to give it to you yesterday. um alright, im going home now. see you soon, am.
A : jake, wait! um, do you know what today is?
J : today? what about it?
A : oh, nothing important.

her heart sank. she thought he would remember. he turned around and walked away like nothing happened.

A : WAIT!
J : you have something to say?
A : tell me. say that you love me.
J : ...
A : please jake.
J : i dont want to say that i love someone so easily, if you are too desperate to hear it, then find someone else.

then he ran off. her legs felt numb, and she collapsed off the ground. she was too disappointed that he didn't want to say it. how could he, she asked to herself. since that day, she stranded herself at home, crying. he didn't even call. he left her a teddy outside the house every morning.

after a month, she healed herself and showed up at school. but eventually what made her pain resurface was that she saw him at the street, walking with another girl. the very wide smile upon his face, never appeared when they were together. she ran back home and stared at the teddys in her room and asked, why did he gave all these. in an anger, she threw all the teddys around.

then, her phone rang.

it was him. he told her to come out to the bus stop just right infront of her house. she tried to calm herself down, and walked to the bus stop. he came into her sight holding a really big teddy.

J : you came. i thought you were upset.

she couldn't help hating him. she acted like nothing had happened. and as usual, he handed her the teddy.

A : i don't need it!
J : what. why?

she grabbed the teddy and threw it on the road.

A : i don't need this teddy! i don't need it anymore! i don't want to see a person like you ever again!

his eyes were filled with tears. he apologized with a tiny cold voice. "i am sorry." he then walked off the road to pick up the teddy.

A : you stupid! just leave the teddy, throw it away!

but he ignored her.
suddenly ...

*HONKS.
*HONKS.

with the big loud honks, a truck was heading towards him.

A : jake, move! move away!

she shouted as loud as she could. he stood up and stared at her with teary eyes and sad look.

then ...

*BOOM!

the sound was terrifying. she screamed and she cried. it was too late to bring him back. no matter how much she wished to take back her words, its worthless.

now, eversince he left, she had to go through her life with guiltiness, and the sadness of losing him. two months passed, she finally took out all the teddy he gave her. she started to reminisce the past, counting down days when they were in love.

"one, two, three ..."
"four hundred and eighty four, four hundred and eighty five."

altogether 485 teddy bears. she started to cry again. she hugged the teddy tightly.

then, suddenly ...

"i love you."
"i love you."

she was shocked and finally dropped the teddy.

"i love you?" she picked up the teddy again and pressed its stomach.

"i love you." again, she pressed another one. "i love you." another. "i love you."

she cried.
"it can't be!"

she took out all the teddy and pressed their stomach. all said, "i love you." why didn't she realise it at the very first place? she asked herself.

then, the very last teddy which have blood stain on it. the teddy that fell off the road. the teddy that jake save from the road. she pressed its stomach.

"love, do you know what day today is? its been 486 days now, am. we've been in love for 486 days. i was so shy that i couldn't confront you and say i love you. but if you take this teddy, i will say that i love you in person. i'll try, amanda."

"everyday, till i die, i love you, amanda."

amanda cried alone, thinking of jake, reminiscing their pasts. she misses jake. but nothing could ever bring him back to her ever again. its too late.

& that was how their relationship ended. :)

2010-10-22T08:43:00.000-07:00

HEYHO.

i'm sleepy now, can i leave? kid. :p

dearest fadhil, when are you gonna wake up? cos i miss you very. :(

i miss him.
i miss him.
i miss him.
i miss him.
i miss him.
i miss him.
i miss him.
i miss him.
i miss him.
i miss him.
i miss him.
i miss him.

i'm going crazy already. :(

....... to be continue. i'm sleepy. shiz.

2010-10-19T09:02:00.001-07:00

i thought we have chemistry. i thought we have things in common.

now i guess i was wrong.

i know i shouldn't nag about this. but yeah, it bothers me sometime.

i guess i'm gonna keep it to myself then. blue sky, grey sky, i wish you're pink. :)

---

i'm totes worried of my results. i received my gp and maths, and its a U. :( its depressing somehow. i hope i'm not gonna retain this year. i don't want to. shiz. i'm drowned with this anxious and uneasy feelings. :/

i sat for gp AS exam last monday. it was easy like abc, i wish. but it wasn't as what i expected. it was hard. i had no choice but to blab about grammar. though i knew my answers didn't make sense and there's not much of points and examples. i hope the examiner is nice to kindly give me marks. :s i told babu about this and we kinda had long conversations of the topics such as musics, culture, technology. babu motivates me somehow. ;)

i don't know why. and i don't know how. i think that he puts the smile on my face. i mean, i'm impressed of the way he act. it looked sincere. if there were such a manly responsible man like him in this circle world, i would want to marry one. he's so amazing that i couldn't stop smiling. i nearly cried when he kissed his wife just before he left. omg. i'm being too emotional here. i should stop blabbing here. lol.

i'm gonna continue practising the past papers tomorrow. i must. :)

good night. x

2010-10-16T23:44:00.001-07:00

though its disappointing and so unbelievable, there's no need of regrets. be strong and never lose faith. try again to achieve a good and better result. :)

---

i read through a newspaper articles yesterday, this was somehow interesting and good motivating words.

"... advised people to always stay away from slander, must always take care of one's name and to keep that 'good name' from being tarnished."

well to be honest, as an adult, i think that we should be concerned about this.

i had promise myself to just keep quiet and just listen to ones who tried to underestimate me. though it may embarassed myself, may turned me down, it doesn't really matter, i just have to have tolerance, of ones behaviour.

oh well, enough of those motivating stuffs. lets proceed.

yesterday was awesome! it was a last minute plan that we crashed to beh's for lunch. though we, me and hayatul, were late for business class soon after, but we were not punished right? lol. i went to the loo lagi to fix my tudong, and arrived class at 1.15, luckily there was a friend of mine who was late too. :D we were doing this essay writing about HRM, i didn't bring along my notes, so i borrowed my friend's. i only copied whats written on the notes, make them into words. luckily, it was marked GOOD. it was so unpredictable. so kesian my mates yang kena buat SEEN. sorry yatun and zilah. HAHAH. kamu the best though. :p

---
today, sunday.

i love my hair, NOTTTTT. you're menyusahkan, merimaskan, mengacau. i have to wake up early because of you. i suffered face itchiness because of you. sheesh! soon, i'm gonna cut you short. tapi sayang. :/ HAHAHAHA.

the internet isn't working so well. egg. talur. egg. talur. egg. talur. :@

i dislike taylor swift's new song called back to december. it somehow remind me of someone. and there's september in it. i know, i used to beg like aegwptjgadamgftgjpw! pokoknya, this song tell it all, seriously. i hate it. reminiscing back the past is so not cool. :/

i'm gonna go for a siesta now. lagi pusing. toods. ;)

2010-10-15T09:02:00.001-07:00

its been a while. so, heyho! :)

i've just done watching KCK 2, it ended with a very-curious-of-whats-next ending. and i no like that. oh well, it was such a relief that the next season will be on this coming sunday. so idon't have to wait that long. i am currently head over heels in love with jonas rivanno. sorry dirly, i have to ditch you! lol.

how can i improve my english now when all i do everyday is sitting on the couch watching indo's dramas, news and etc. everything is about indonesian people and stuff. my general knowledge about brunei are now decreasing. HAHAHA.

oh, my last paper is on monday. its general paper 1. i'm so freak out and yes, i'm very, very, very nervous! how can i not be, i failed my mocks! shizzels. i felt demotivated. i went to see miss oli in person to talk about it. it was all due to my definition that i made all of my writings wrong. :/ i hope this coming exam is gonna be okay and i hope i can write better. amin.

i'm out of words already. i better go.

muchos love.
xx.

2010-10-09T05:57:00.000-07:00

TAYLOR SWIFT
SPEAK NOW

i am not the kind of girl, who should be rudely barging in on a white veil occasion, but you are not the kind of boy, who should be marrying the wrong girl.

i sneak in and see your friends, and her snotty little family, all dressed in pastel, and she is yelling at a bridesmaid, somewhere back inside a room, wearing a gown shaped like a pastry.

this is surely not what you thought it would be, i lose myself in a daydream where i stand and say.

don’t say yes, run away now, i’ll meet you when you’re out of the church at the backdoor, don’t wait or say a single vow, you need to hear me out and they said speak now.

fond gestures are exchanged, and the organ starts to play a song that sounds like a death march, and i am hiding in the curtains, it seems that i was uninvited by your lovely bride-to-be.

she floats down the aisle like a pageant queen, but i know you wish it was me, you wish it was me
don’t you?

don’t say yes, run away now, i’ll meet you when you’re out of the church at the backdoor, don’t wait or say a single vow, you need to hear me out and they said speak now.

so don’t say yes, run away now
i’ll meet you when you’re out of the church at the backdoor
don’t wait or say a single vow
your time is running out and they said speak now

i hear the preacher say speak now or forever hold your peace, there’s the silence, there’s my last chance, i stand up with shaky hands, all eyes on me, horrified looks from everyone in the room, but i’m only looking at you.

i am not the kind of girl, who should be rudely barging in on a white veil occasion but you are not the kind of boy, who should be marrying the wrong girl.

don’t say yes, run away now, i’ll meet you when you’re out of the church at the backdoor, don’t wait or say a single vow, you need to hear me out and they said speak now.

and you say lets run away now, i’ll meet when i’m out of my tux at the backdoor, baby i didn’t say my vows, so glad you were around, when they said speak now.

2010-10-09T05:23:00.000-07:00

hey look! this girl really doesn't know how to smile. shizz, marung ani wah! taun pabila kan ni? HAHAHAHAHA. btw, thats ME. =.= lol.

2010-10-08T07:56:00.001-07:00

i am so in need of inspirations, like right now! my brain can't bare to fit in a lot of memorising. i'm losing faith already. shitttttzengerrs! :(

my AS starts on the 13th and ends on the 18th. i have to improve more on my general knowledge. i have less confidence to atleast scores a C for gp. :/

i am now listening to my playlists. i've been leaving them abandoned all this while. now here, i'm back on track. :D

dear remy ishak, can you be mine? cos i love you eversince i've ..... watched you on tv. lol. i don't know why, but i think you're the one that i long for. you so hotzzzzz baby! HAHAHA.

i'm gonna go now, cos i have to concentrate .... listening to all the songs on my playlists. :p

have a nice pleasant day! ;)

2010-10-07T11:56:00.001-07:00

i was suppose to study psychology tonight. but then, i went out shopping for grocerries. :D

oh, the rain finally stopped falling.

i watched bedah rumah this afternoon, thought that i won't cry this time, but i CRIED, again and again. shizzels! mudah banar, mudah. i am being so emotional nowadays. HAHAHA. alright. =.=

i have been skipping classes. without letters. is that okay? i'm just very lazy to attend school cos it was unorganized, i mean, how do i explain this in words, err, i don't know. lol.

i love JJ. i love JJ. i love JJ. i love JJ. i love JJ. :)

where can i get - sammy's adventure the secret passage's dvd? i am so craving for it, i wanna watch it. :/

my eyes is near to a shut down. i better go before i wasted my time typing this out, but ended up sleeping without posting it. kure! waratte! ;)

mohon tuhan untuk kali ini saja, beri aku kekuatan tuk menatap matanya. mohon tuhan, untuk kali ini saja, lancarkanlah hariku, hariku bersamanya, hariku bersamanya.

HAHAHAHA. bah eh, tidur time.

xx

2010-10-06T06:10:00.001-07:00

hey blog readers! :D

you have such a beautiful and attractives sea turtle eyes that melted me, making me want to follow all your steps, oh norbeat. HAHAHA. baik adang. :p

i sat for my gp exam today. it was ... super fine. cos i hantam. lol. mudahan pass kay? HEHE. oh btw, i sat at the back row, not the very back, pokoknya di belakang. senang hati. HEHEHE. and there i saw si norbeat. majal. HAHA. he was with his turtle eyes, innocent look. OMG. macam that time i was sengaja wah tanya my kawan 'eh, di belakang kau rupanya.' ada udang di sebalik freezer tah banar. HAHAHA. for fun saja kay. i am so in love with someone already, but i know he doesn't cos we don't share much story anymore. BACA NI BACA! now that i complained. JUJUR NI AH? please tah please. :p

i can't wait for the exam to finally ended. END, END. why? cos i wanna watch tele. i am getting addicted to indo dramas and shows. maklum lah, freshies. :p babu inda suruh dulu liat selalu pasal exam masih. haha.

this song really got me insane. dari tadi menyanyi ani wah. 'cinta satu malam' 'na na na keong racun.' macam orang begok, atu saja tau. balik2 atu saja lyrics nya. HAHAH.

bah, karang lagi update.

baaaaaaaaai. :p

2010-10-04T05:32:00.000-07:00

HEHEHE.
i love this picture!

:D

2010-10-04T05:21:00.000-07:00

i captured this photo on friday afternoon. see i love rainbows so much!

SOUTHBORDER
RAINBOW

fallin' out, fallin' in
nothing's sure in this world no, no
breakin' out, breakin' in
never knowin' what lies ahead
we can really never tell it all no, no, no
say goodbye, say hello
to a lover or friend
sometimes we never could understand
why some things begin then just end
we can really never tell it all no, no, no

but oh, can't you see
that no matter what happens
life goes on and on
so baby, just please smile
cos im always around you
and i'll make you see how beautiful
life is for you and me

take a little time baby
see the butterflies color's
listen to the birds that were sent
to sing for me and you
can you feel me
this is such a wonderful place to be
even if there is pain now
everything would be all right
for as long as the world still turns
there will be night and day
can you hear me
there's a rainbow always after the rain

hittin' high, hittin' low
win or lose you should go, yeah yeah
getting warm, getting cold
weather could be so good or bad
but baby this is life now don't get mad no, no, no

cos oh, cant you see
that no matter what happens
life goes on and on
so baby, please smile
cos im always around you
and i'll make you see how beautiful
life is for you and me

take a little time baby
see the butterflies' colors
listen to the birds that were sent
to sing for me and you
can you feel me
this is such a wonderful place to be
even if there is pain now
everything would be all right
for as long as the world still turns
there will be night and day
can you hear me
there's a rainbow always after the rain

life's full of challenges
not all the time we get what we want
but don't despair my dear coz I know now
you'll take each trial and you'll make it through the storm
cos you're strong my faith in you is clear
so i'll say once again this worlds wonderful and
let us celebrate life that's so beautiful, so beautiful

take a little time baby
see the butterflies' colors
listen to the birds that were sent
to sing for me and you
can you feel me
this is such a wonderful place to be
even if there is pain now
everything would be all right
for as long as the world still turns
there will be night and day
can you hear me

there's a rainbow always after the rain

:)